Saturday, November 8, 2008

How Do You Insult a Kiwi?

We have escaped New Bern. This is our farewell shot.

Leaving New Bern requires that first you pay the price for going there: You must slog 24 miles back down the Neuse River to rejoin the ICW. Half the day's travel wasted just getting to the starting line.

Just for interest sake we want to show you what the Americans call a "Creek". Here is a shot of the mouth of Adams Creek. Creek, mind
, not river.

Of course some d
ays it is out of the pot and into the fire. Here is the welcoming view of Beaufort, NC. (that's Bow fort and don't you forget it Yankee scum)

Finally we anchored south of Beaufort about 15 miles down Bogue Sound. We found a nice anchorage in the midst of an ocean wasteland. Then we encountered, for the Second Time, the guy who sails, alone - no surprise, in Ivory Moon. He is New Zealander.

n this blog we discuss the result of today's competition in which the question posed was:

What is an appropriate phrase to describe the ignorant kiwi sucking New Zealanders in Ivory Moon who are perennial pains the ass of right thinking North American sailors everywhere who are just trying to anchor their boats

Well, the response in the anchorage was enormous and we took quite a long time sorting out the winners. There were some very clever entries.

Mon Ile said 'let's not call them anything, let's just ignore them'

The crew of Agapi said they couldn't think of anything more derogatory or insulting to be called than a New Zealander.

In the end we settled on two choices: this number from our own Budget Committee: those short ugly people with bad teeth and bad breath and all those green kiwi stains on the fronts of their shirts;

The winner was undoubtedly also the Budget Committee who said absolutely nothing but stood on the bow of her boat with her face screwed up waving her arms like an ADD three year old who had used its Ritalin as a suppository on its teddy bear, staring down the Miserable Fat Kiwi Bastards.

Important Literary Note: No boat named in this post actually said anything about the Miserable Fat Kiwi Bastards. We heard them thinking it however.

We do apologize to Monty Python but we are just too tired to make up our own ideas all the time.

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